Montessori Newsletter
Volume 2
Published by Montessori Homeschool
Archive of Montessori and homeschool e-mail newsletters for parents, teachers, homeschool, toddler, preschool, elementary
Archive of Montessori and homeschool e-mail newsletters for parents, teachers, homeschool, toddler, preschool, elementary
Aggression in Preschoolers
Edusource
HomeBiz
Montessori Home Journal
Science Newsletter
 |
Learning
the Skills of Peacemaking: A K-6 Activity Guide to Resolving Conflicts,
Communicating & Cooperating by Naomi Drew |
Aggression in Preschoolers by MEARTH
Why do some preschoolers become aggressive? Why do they sometimes hit, bite, kick, pinch, punch, slap, scream, throw things at you and or other children? Are they born that way? or do they learn aggressive behavior from other children, adults or family members? Do they watch too much aggressive TV content? Is aggressive behavior caused by their genetic makeup? or by their home and community surroundings?
Here are some typical parents’ responses to preschooler aggression when the issue was raised at my school: “Well, he’s only three!”; “She never does it at home!”; “They watch too much violence on TV.”
Preschoolers are in the developmental stage for language, ranging from increasing their vocabulary to singing songs to writing and sometimes reading. At the same time, they are learning communication skills: how to express their thoughts, feelings, wants, needs, and emotions. Aggressive behavior can stem from the not-yet-learned verbal skills needed to communicate and interact in social situations with other children including sharing, taking turns, playing games, etc. It is also true that some children instinctually use aggressive behavior as a means of problem solving and or they have learned it from an aggressive sibling or parent.
The answers to why some preschoolers become aggressive are many, and I’ve only listed a few in the paragraphs above. I want to now share with you some Montessorian philosophy regarding a young child’s aggressive behavior and how it is “handled” in a Montessori environment. But please note! In whatever way the behavior is handled, the more inconsistent the adults are in the child’s surroundings--from the adults at home to the baby-sitters and teachers, in handling this type of behavior, the harder it will be for the child to learn and understand other, more socially acceptable means of communicating their anger, frustration, rebellion, hurt, fear, and so forth. Therefore, all the adults (and older siblings) must agree on a method and be consistent: what method you decide on is up to all of you.
The following are some passages discussing the Montessori methods written by Montessori professionals.
The long-term goal of a Montessori environment is to foster the young child’s natural development, including her independence and self-sufficiency, thus the Montessori aim is:
[To] uphold the child’s right to make thoughtful choices. .
. . True freedom,
in Montessori’s view, is control over one’s own destiny, and
that means
controlling our whims, working towards long-range goals, and
making conscious
choices about our actions and their consequences. In other
words, every act of
truly ‘free’ choice is preceded by an act of judgment. This
is a kind of freedom
that must be learned, and to which we must lead a child, little
by little.
(David Gettman, Basic Montessori.)
Here’s a passage from Elizabeth Hainstock’s The Essential Montessori on “behavior modification”:
Current behavioral scientists and educators. . . . [and] their
studies show that
children learn best in an atmosphere of freedom with clearly
defined guidelines.
Behaviorists’ studies have [also] shown conclusively that
children desire to learn
and do not need to be motivated by reward and punishment,
and more
importantly, that the preschool child is indeed ready for
cognitive [of the mind]
experiences.
How to handle aggressive behavior in a Montessori environment
In a Montessori environment children are first shown various materials in the classroom, from art to geography--and all subjects are sensorial based, hands-on activities. After they have been show the material they can choose to work with it at their own pace and repeat it as many times as they want. Also included in the curriculum are lessons on social skills and communication skills, termed “practical life” lessons.
Here’s an example of an outside practical life lesson on how to take turns on the swing.
Early in the day, at playtime, two children were fighting over who got to the swing first. One child kicked the other and then got on the swing. The second child pulled her off the swing. Crying ensued as the teacher came to the rescue. In fact, this is not the first time it happened! Other children had trouble taking turns on the swing. Something must be done!
Time for a “practical life” lesson, a social skill lesson, which can be given to the whole class or to small groups of children, at a time. In this example, the whole group will have a lesson on “how to ask for a turn on the swing” (without hitting or crying). The teacher rings a symbol or calls the children over to their usual meeting place for the lesson. Another teacher comes over to help give the lesson.
“Today we are going to have a lesson on how to ask for a turn on the swing.” Both teachers walk over to the swing, while one teacher sits on the swing and the other says, “May I have a turn when you’re finished?”
“Yes,” replies the teacher on the swing, “you can have a turn when I’m finished.” A few moments go by and the teacher gets off the swing and walks over to the other teacher and says, “It’s your turn.” (If you are in a non-school environment, any parent or adult can also give this lesson.)
Now it is time to let the children have a chance to participate in the lesson or just watch. “Raise your hand if you would like to have a turn.” An older child (who already has this skill) is chosen. She sits on the swing and the same lesson is given. Not every child can have a turn if the group is large, so smaller group lessons may be needed.
Now, this may not be effective as a spontaneous activity at playtime when children are playing. Another method is to have a daily activity of giving one outside social lesson after playtime, before the children go inside.
Practical life
This method of teaching is called giving a “practical life” lesson or demonstration, and there are many practical life lessons given in a Montessori environment: buckling shoes, washing a paintbrush, carrying a tray of materials, pushing in your chair, hanging up your coat: and the children learn at their own pace. It may take a three-year old ten lessons on how to hang up her coat before she can do it independently, and another three-year old only two lessons. This holds true for social and communication lessons: it may take a three-year old six months to learn how ask for a turn on the swing and then wait for her turn (which is another lesson!) and another child only two weeks! Every child is different.
This method of teaching children practical life lessons can be used for other children who exhibit aggressive behavior, with the understanding that it may take several lessons, over a period of weeks or years, before the child can master them.
Here’s another example, hitting: when a child is aggressive with another child (or adult) whether at play or in the classroom, the practical life lesson becomes “how to be gentle or careful” or “how to touch another person” (this also works with children who are aggressive with pets). Let’s say two children are playing and one of them gets hurt by the other child, and you did not see what happened! You have no way of knowing--and asking a three and four year old isn’t always effective (especially if one of them is crying).
“Let’s stop and have a lesson on how to touch. This is how you touch.” The adult then, after speaking, takes her hand and carefully touches each of the children. She then says, “Who would like to have a turn?” (They may say no, that’s okay too.) Or you may take the child’s hand and gently touch the other child. “Now it’s your turn.” Each child takes a turn to practice how to touch, first on the adult, then the other child. It will be necessary to give the lesson again and again, even if there has been no conflict or problem. Think of it as teaching your child numbers or colors. They need repetition and practice.
Other materials can be made to put in the environment that will encourage gentle touching (also called indirect preparation): a soft fabric matching game or work can be made and the lesson is how to touch the fabric and match it (usually six to eight square, contrasting fabrics are cut in pairs. Velvet and fake fur are always favorites.)
The opposite is also true: some children need to let out some steam, no matter how many practical life lessons they may have, there should be a place for children to use large motor movement (kicking, hitting, throwing) without hurting others: a soft ball and hoop, a punching bag, a bean bag toss--activities that allow for aggressive play and activity but have boundaries and limits.
Browse the Peace
and Conflict Resolution Rooms!
Edusource
Education Source
is a great resource for teachers, homeschoolers & parents for educational
software and they just came out with a top ten review.
"This Top Ten list, therefore,
is the culmination of our research and represents what we consider to be
the best educational children's program... Future issues of Edusource Web
Reviews will focus on the Top Ten educational kits, books, games and vacations."
http://www.edusource.com/
They also have an e-mail
list to join for their top ten reviews!
HomeBiz
We recommend you check
out
HomeBiz, in association
with Homeschool Zone: they
have impressive weekly chats with special guests, in many interesting subjects
including working at home, homeschooling, and education.
Computers
in the Home by Ruth Barnes Reed
How
We Came to Homeschool by Sonja Buhlman
If
I Had My Child to Raise Again a poem by Diane Loomans
Make
Your House a Child-Friendly Home by Elizabeth Foss
The
Montessori Materials by Chrystal Dahlmeier
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Science Newsletter
"Big Picture Science,
costs $10 a year/4 issues. Free introductory issue #1 - Update on Five
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"Please send check
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A teacher's guide to the animal kingdom, including text for upper
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to virology for upper elem./middle school. These are $5 each. Five Kingdom
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Priscilla Spears
Big Picture Science
PO Box 717
Conifer CO 80433
END